Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be.

You, you're my idol. I look to you for everything I do in my life because you're what I should be and you're everything I can't be. You are the person that makes no mistakes and does everything perfectly, you're the one who everyone looks at and goes, "Wow, I wish I was him." I'm not only writing to you because that's what it says at the top, I'm writing to you because your the person that I aspire to be, you're the one who I think about every time I do something wrong. I don't want to feel this way but that's human nature. I make mistakes almost every day, I am probably the most farthest thing from perfect you will ever see. I do almost everything wrong but I know how to cover it up. I have such high expectations from every single person that I know I can never meet, and I honestly don't know what to do. I know that you could meet all of these, but I'm not you. You're not real because there is not one single person in this world that is capable of making no mistakes what so ever, that's just not humanly possible. Throughout the years I've learned that a mistake is only a mistake if you haven't learned from it. Everything you do wrong can be taken and turned into something good just by seeing what you did wrong and not doing it again. I like to live by this because it lets you remember that there's always room for improvement. So as I'm typing to you, the person that I supposedly wish I could be, I'm basically saying that you might always be there in my life, a goal perhaps, but I'm sorry to say I will never be you. I will never be the model student, son, friend, anything because I am always going to make mistakes. I will never go a day without doing something wrong, and I'm okay with that. I like messing up, it gives me a reason to laugh at myself, and if you can't laugh at yourself how can you ever be happy. So thank you for being there, giving me a goal to reach, but I'm sorry to say that we will never meet.