Monday, July 26, 2010

Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror.

Hi. You know me pretty well, and I know you pretty well. I look at you every single day of my life and I can honestly say that half the time I hate what I see. I look in disgust because I hate the person I am sometimes. I wish I could be different. I know that everyone complains about their looks, their acne, their hair, but that's not what I mean. I look in the mirror and I see more about myself than just my looks, even though I don't like those sometimes. When I look at myself I see what I've done and who I've become as a person. I don't like myself. Other people tell me I'm crazy, and I love them for that, but they are never going to change my mind about how I feel. People hate me, a lot of people. I can brush it off and make a joke, like I always do, but I always look in the mirror and see that people hate the person that I'm looking at. A lot of people don't know what it's like to be hated, it doesn't feel right. It hurts a lot to know that you try so hard to be a good person and to things right and to just be yourself but in the end it just ends up getting people to dislike you. I'm sorry to you, my reflection, that you have to go through the same things I go through. It sucks. It sucks that no matter what you do to your appearance, you're still the same person inside and no one likes that. Sure I have friends, I have more friends than you can imagine. But the amount of friends I have will never balance out the people that hate me in this world. I get compliments everyday, I have over 1,000 people in this world that sign onto a website everyday to see my face, and sure that helps my self confidence...but I might never meet a lot of those people. I start to realize that the only people lately that have feelings for me are people that live across the country, and that's hard. I see myself everyday and think about all of this, I want to break the mirror but I know I'll still be the same me. The same me that some people love, some people hate, and the same person that hates himself. I'm sure one day I'll come to terms with myself, love myself, accept myself, but for now I don't know how to do that. So I'm going to take what I have in my life and look at the positive, keep my feelings bottled up no matter how bad that is for me. I'm going to hide it away just like I've been doing for a long time, and I'm the only one who's going to be able to change that. So I'm sorry, my reflection, for not giving you a better person to look back at.

And thank you to everyone who has followed this blog, you all mean the world to me if you take the time to read the stupid stuff that comes out of my head. So please, let me know if you've read this, it will mean a lot to know that someone out there cares about what I have to say. Thank you.

30 Day Challenge - Complete.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Day 29 - The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to.

Once I read what today's topic was I knew for sure who i was going to write about. You are someone that means the world to me and that I can't live without. Your the person that provides for me, the one that cares for me, and the one that brought me into this world. Mom, you get mad at me almost every time we talk because I never open up to you and tell you what's going on in my life. I can honestly say I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for shutting you out of my life at times. I've been trying more and more to tell you what's going on in my life, but I can't. I can't at times because I just don't feel comfortable telling you personal things that are going on in my life. You mean the world to me and I appreciate everything you do for me. I never forget everything that you've gone through and everything you've helped me achieve in my life. But one thing you might have to understand is that right now I can't let you into certain parts of my life. I know you're upset because of this and I'm sorry, so just give me time. Give me time to experience what I have to experience and then maybe some day I'll be able to tell you more. I don't think there's much else I can say about the matter beside the one hundred different ways I can say sorry. You told me that reading this blog is the only way that you get any information about my life, and when I began writing this I always hoped that you'd find a way to read it. So thank you for always being in my life and thank you for accepting that there are a lot of things I can't tell you. Thank you for being there for me, because one day I'll need you by my side to let you know everything that's going on.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Day 28 - Someone that changed your life.

You came into my life as someone I've never spoken to. Someone that I honestly just admired, looked up to almost. I've never met you. I know people are going to wonder how someone I've never met can be someone who's changed my life. Well, it's possible, because you've changed my life. I mention this in almost every other blog, but just because your 'real life' friends with someone doesn't mean their some pedophile that wants your help finding his lost puppy. So back to you, you are seriously one of the nicest, smartest, funniest people I have ever met. Yes, I met you over Dailybooth, and because of that we've become such close friends. I love talking to you and so do my friends because you're just such a good person. I remember one of the first times we talked on Skype, and I was so nervous. It's kind of pathetic, actually, but at the time you were this 'big deal' to me. It's weird to look back on that now. Then the next time we Skyped I was ranting about how I didn't want to read a book for English, then you proceeded to tell me that it was your favorite book. After that we talked for probably close to an hour and you analyzed the book more than my English teacher did. I can tell that you're going to do something great with your life because you don't waste your time. Your a smart kid, and I think you're going to go far. I honestly hope we keep talking for a long time, because I remember there was a point for a few months when we didn't talk at all, and now that we're talking more again I realized how much you mean to my life. I really hope one day we meet because I love the person you are, and I love that I can talk to you about a lot of things. So thank you for being the person you are, thank you for coming into my life, and thank you for changing my life.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day.

Well technically I knew you for a lot more than a day. But I've only met you in person once, on one day. That day was probably one of the best days of my life. People thought that me talking to you was one of the sketchiest things alive, and said that by meeting you I was going to get raped or kidnapped. Guess what? You weren't some 60 year old man waiting to push me into a van and take me away. You were a nice, cute, funny, tall, amazing person that I was so happy to meet. I remember waiting for you to walk through the doors and everyone told me it wasn't a big deal that we were meeting. But it was a big deal for me, you were a big deal in my life. I liked you a lot, and meeting you was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I know that everyone says it's wrong to talk to people you've never met, so I changed that, and I met you. I am so happy I met you because seeing you in person was so different then seeing you on Skype or over Facebook. You made that night amazing just by being there, so thank you for that. Thank you for not making fun of me because I was afraid to talk because I was scared of sounding stupid. Thank you for just meeting me and being where you said you'd be. It was definitely a challenge to get to you, but we made it happen. So once again, thank you for being so friendly. Even though we only met for one day, it seemed like a lot longer than that. I hope that won't be the only day I get to see you. Thank you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to.

So before reading today's topic I was at my best friend's house. I go there so many times a week that I'm basically part of her family. When they were singing happy birthday to her dad I almost said Dad while we were singing. It's weird how someones family can make you feel so comfortable. But once we were done celebrating, we decided to go swimming. It was cold, the water was cold, but we wanted to go in anyway. I asked her if she would jump in with me but she said I would just push her in the pool. So I looked at her and stuck my pinky out, telling her I wouldn't do that. Then we jumped in holding hangs, and the water was freezing. As silly or strange as that story might sound, that's my life. I never have these intense pinky promises that are life or death situations, no one does. But when I make a pinky promise, I mean it. Especially when it comes to my best friend, it doesn't matter how big or small the promise is, I'm going to keep it. I would never purposely get someone to lose their trust in me, I would hate that. I like being able to tell someone I'm going to or not going to do something truthfully, I don't like to lie. So as stupid as this may seem, you've all been in my spot before. I'm sure once in your lifetime you've made a pinky promise to someone and even though it's just two fingers touching, it means the world to some people. It's putting all your trust with someone into the smallest action. That means a lot to be able to do that, to be able to tell someone the biggest secret you have and pinky promise and ask them to not tell anyone. You want to be able to trust your best friend, always. I didn't think I would be able to write a lot for this one, and I know I didn't really write about the person I last pinky promised because I've written about her before. I wanted to make this mostly about what a pinky promise really means, and it's not just a worthless thing that doesn't matter, it really does matter to a lot of people. So to all the future people that I will pinky promise something to remember that I don't take your trust lightly, and I would never do anything to betray you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times.

I don't know if some things in your life are still going on, but I know for sure that in the past you have been to hell and back. You're one of my friends and you've trusted me with a lot and I love that. I love that you know that you can trust me with everything and you know I won't betray that trust. So many terrible things have happened in your life and I honestly don't know how you can still keep a smile on your face all the time. You are an amazing person and I hate to see you sad. You don't deserve half the stuff that you've been through because you are such a great person. It seems like every other month something goes wrong and I can't stand to watch it, it's terrible and no body on Earth deserves that. Whenever I'm with you I smile, laugh, and can't be sad because the person you are never seems to be upset. In a way I hope you don't find out this is you because I'm afraid that you might get offended in some way but in all honesty I think your so brave for being the person you are after all that you've been through. So don't ever put your head down and be afraid to talk to me when something goes wrong in your life. I'm sorry that you had to go through all this stuff in your life. People look at you and think you have it all but I know it's not as perfect as it seems. Please be my friend forever and talk to me whenever somethings wrong because I hate seeing you hurt. I love you and thank you for trusting me, I promise I won't hurt you.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory.

Well I'm going to change this one up a little. Instead of just writing about one person, I'm going to write about a group of people. Most of this group of people is new to my life and I can honestly say they are giving me some of the best memories that I know I will never forget. I also know that throughout the future they are going to give me plenty more. You are all amazing people, some of which i just met a few weeks ago, some who I know from sports, some who I've written about before, and one that has been a life long friend. I love you all more than words can say because when we're all together the most drama we ever have is debating who did/didn't call "fives" on their chair before they got up. The environment around you guys is always so happy and calm, and I'm always laughing when we're together. So Ryan, Kyle, Julia, and Angie, you all have changed my life whether you know it or not. I was getting pretty fed up with my life before you guys, just bored actually, but when we all started hanging out that all changed. Ryan, I've written about you here before but you make every single "hangout" worth going to because you're so funny and happy. Kyle, we played volleyball together and the first month we never talked, mostly because I was un-social. Now we're really close friends and I wouldn't want it any other way, you're funny and I love hanging out with you. Angie, I love you, even though you say I hate you every single second where together, I know you know that that is not true at all. You're funny, pretty, and an overall amazing person to be around, and we have only been friends for a few weeks. Julia, I've already written about you, but you're my best friend and I love spending time with you. You're an amazing person. I can't get enough of you all, and I know that I'll be seeing you all in the future. Thank you for coming into my life, I love you all.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Day 23 - The last person you kissed.

Well this is just a little awkward to write because my last kiss was probably six or more months ago. I know, I get around. But seriously, writing to the last person I kissed is a little hard because the feelings I had for this person are long gone by now. It's hard to write about something that happened so long ago, and about a person I rarely talk to anymore. You still like me, or so that's what you told me that last time we talked. I honestly wish I could feel the same way but I just can't, at the time you meant a lot to me but as of now you're just another friend. We're not even that good of friends anymore, you honestly don't get how much you piss me off at times. You do the things that you know get me annoyed and some of the times I just want to stop talking to you all together. I don't do this though because I know the friendship we have means more than the aftermath of our so called "thing." You have to understand that it didn't work out with us for a reason, and you've hopefully moved on by now. I'm not someone that's worth waiting for. I'm useless when it comes to holding a connection with someone and I'm not worth your time. So forget me, but don't forget what we had. We shared a lot, and you'll always be a close friend but nothing more. I look at you now as nothing more than a acquaintance and that does hurt at times. I know that time goes on, and your starting to like new people and I'm genuinely happy for you. So to you, the last person I kissed, you were no mistake. I don't regret kissing you but you have to understand that it was probably our last kiss. Please don't leave my life because I will always want to be your friend.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to.

This one was another one where I didn't know who to write about for a while, so I really had to think. These aren't easy, but you have to sit down and think until someone comes to mind. So for this I'm writing to you because I feel like the first time me and you had something I was rude, so in a way it's like me asking for a second chance. This second chance that I want you to give me I probably don't deserve but I want you to hear me out. We dated, we broke up, then along the way we had a thing here and there and there were even some times when you didn't talk to me for months. Every time you end up "hating" me, a month or two later you come back like nothing happened. I think this is because we so have such a good friendship, but the problem throughout the last year is that you always want more. I have to admit there were times where I wanted more too, but you always found a way to either confuse me or you freaked out about every thing I did that involved another girl. You never gave me time to just think about myself and if I wanted to be with you. I know that it was selfish of me to ask you to wait for me, so I understand why you were mad. You trust me with a lot, I know that and I love that, I love that you know that you can call me at all hours of the night to tell me what's going wrong in your life because you know I can help you. So now if you ever read this, I want you to know that I want to be your friend before anything more, I want you to just like me as a friend and not expect more right off the bat. Don't stop talking to me for months over nothing, because I like being your friend. So next time your mad about a little thing I do, remember that you mean a lot to me and I hate losing you as a friend. So I hope we can both give each other a second chance at friendship, thank you.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression.

So this one is kind of hard to think of because I really do try not to judge people just by how they look or act the first time I meet them. One person does come to mind when I read the topic over and I want to write about you because I honestly didn't like you the first time I met you, I thought you were creepy and a little annoying but once I actually started talking to you I realized that I was one hundred percent wrong. So now that we're friends I really want to apologize for doing this to you and being so mean before we were really friends. I think you will figure out this is about you and that's okay because as of a few weeks ago you are now one of my really good friends. You are seriously one of the funniest people I have ever met and I am so glad I decided to be friends with you. Even though we haven't been friends for that long you trust me with a lot of things and I trust you too, and I think that's a really good start for our friendship. You make me and all of our friends laugh whenever we're around you because you don't even have to try to be funny. You're an overall great person who everyone loves and now that we're friends I can't imagine hanging out and having a good time without you there. So once again I'm sorry that I judged you for the worse in the beginning, and I want to thank you for trying so hard to be my friend because I know that it was worth it because you're turning into one of my good friends. Thank you for being the amazing person you are and the one thing I ask of you is that you never change, no matter what.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Day 20 - The one who broke your heart the hardest

Well considering I'm only a fifteen year old boy, I have never had my heart broken. So basically, I'm writing to someone I don't even know yet. Sure I've been in many relationships, but they were all casual and in all honesty were no where close to true love. I know that one day I will meet you, I will fall in love with you, I will put all my trust in you, and your going to let me down. You're going to be the one who broke my heart the hardest. Part of me wishes that I have met you and this had all happened already because I know that it's going to hurt. I know that I'm going to want no one else for a long time, and I'm going not going think about anyone but you. So, I guess all I'm saying is that I want you to be easy on me, I want you to realize that I'm only human and your probably going to mean the world to me. I get it, things happen for a reason but that doesn't mean I deserve to have my heart broken. I understand completely that it happens to everyone, and I'm honestly scared of the day when this happens to me. I'm in high school and I don't plan on falling in love with anyone any time soon because I know that in most cases it doesn't end well and someone ends up getting hurt. I know that the time your together matters the most, but no one ever focuses on how you feel afterward. I don't want to have my heart broken but it's inevitable. So to you, the person that is going to break my heart the hardest, just remember that I'm not going to be ready for it and to go easy on me. I have a tendency to fall hard and fast for people, so keep that in mind. Even though I'd like to wait as long as possible before I meet you, I know one day we'll see each other and I will fall in love, and you will break my heart.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad.

You, the person that pesters my mind, are probably one of the most confusing people I have ever had the honor of meeting. You honestly "pester" my mind in good ways and bad ways, all in the sense that I just don't get you. I don't understand one single part of you. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, it's up to you when you're going to reveal who you are and what your thinking, because I honestly do not think that anyone knows who you want to be. I think about you constantly because you always keep my head spinning, always making me question different things about you. It's almost like a game when you think about it, it's like I have to discover more about you each and every day. The only thing I don't like is I don't feel like you trust me enough to let me in, to show me what your all about. I want to change that, I want to be the person you go to when your finally ready to just let everything out, I don't know if I will ever be that person but I can hope. Until that day, if it ever comes, I guess I'm just forever guessing. Your the person that everyone looks at and they just can't make up your mind about you, and neither can I. There are so many possibilities that come to mind when I think about you. I hang out with you and it's like you could be any person. You act one way one minute, and another way another minute. Your always changing and I don't like that. I don't know if you act like this because you're afraid, confused, or you just don't know what to think about yourself. You pester my mind, and for some reason or another I like it, so for right now don't ever change. But when you're ready to talk and to decide who you really are, I'm here. So thank you for giving me something to think about, your always keeping me guessing.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be.

You, you're my idol. I look to you for everything I do in my life because you're what I should be and you're everything I can't be. You are the person that makes no mistakes and does everything perfectly, you're the one who everyone looks at and goes, "Wow, I wish I was him." I'm not only writing to you because that's what it says at the top, I'm writing to you because your the person that I aspire to be, you're the one who I think about every time I do something wrong. I don't want to feel this way but that's human nature. I make mistakes almost every day, I am probably the most farthest thing from perfect you will ever see. I do almost everything wrong but I know how to cover it up. I have such high expectations from every single person that I know I can never meet, and I honestly don't know what to do. I know that you could meet all of these, but I'm not you. You're not real because there is not one single person in this world that is capable of making no mistakes what so ever, that's just not humanly possible. Throughout the years I've learned that a mistake is only a mistake if you haven't learned from it. Everything you do wrong can be taken and turned into something good just by seeing what you did wrong and not doing it again. I like to live by this because it lets you remember that there's always room for improvement. So as I'm typing to you, the person that I supposedly wish I could be, I'm basically saying that you might always be there in my life, a goal perhaps, but I'm sorry to say I will never be you. I will never be the model student, son, friend, anything because I am always going to make mistakes. I will never go a day without doing something wrong, and I'm okay with that. I like messing up, it gives me a reason to laugh at myself, and if you can't laugh at yourself how can you ever be happy. So thank you for being there, giving me a goal to reach, but I'm sorry to say that we will never meet.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Day 17 - Someone from your childhood.

Julia Hundley. I honestly could write for hours about you for a lot of these topics, but this seems to be the most appropriate because we've been friends since pre-kindergarten. When I think back to those days I just think about how even back then we had so many jokes and good times just like we still do today. I remember how every single day you would bring in a toy cat and you would never let anybody but me touch it, we were the most exclusive kids around. You had to earn the right to play with the toy cat. You were my best friend all the way till high school, and I think that's going to continue for a really long time. You mean the world to me and the fact that we've been friends for so many years and through so many fights proves to us that our friendship can go through anything. There are honestly too many other jokes I could bring back, it's hard to think of all of them. Like when Sophia moved here in fifth grade we decided that us three would become siblings, and that lasted all the way through middle school, even though people though we were incredibly weird because all we would do was call ourselves Asian. Through our first year of high school we have gotten in so many fights, and the longest we stayed mad at each other was probably, what? Two days at the most because we're the type of friends who can never stay mad at each other because we know this friendship means the world to both of us because it has lasted so long and been through so much. I love you so much because of the amazing person and friend you are, even though we get in fights it doesn't matter. I think your a beautiful, wonderful, amazing person and you need to be more self confident because you deserve that, one day you'll see that too. Thank you for always being there for me and being such a great person, I will always love you and I can't help but smile whenever I'm with you. I love you, truly.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country

So you'd think this would be an easy one to write because I'm that kid who has just about every social networking website around. But that's not the case, this is actually extremely hard to come up with. I guess I'll just write about a few, but not say any names.

Okay I guess I'll begin with you, you and I became friends and for a little while I thought it was something more. That was probably the biggest mistake I have ever made while on Dailybooth, because I got the complete wrong impression. After that I really didn't know what to think, because you act like a complete and totally different person than who you actually are. So I guess it's good that we don't live close to each other. Thanks.

Next is you, I've only been talking to you for a few days but I honestly feel like I can talk to you about anything. You're funny and easy to talk to, and I do really wish we lived closer because you seem like one of the most down-to-earth people I have ever met. When we talk it seems like nothing else matters because I feel like you don't judge me when I say something. I guess we're not very close still, but I feel like we've known each other for a long time. Thank you for just talking to me like a normal person, and listening without judging me. You're so woz.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Day 15 - The person you miss the most

So, I've been saying the name of a few of these and I don't think it would hurt to say the name of this one. Olivia, you moved away from us almost a year ago and a day doesn't go by when I don't think about the time when you were here. Everyone misses you so much and even though we know you love it where you are, we can't help but feel jealous of all the kids that you're with now because you're such an amazing person and friend. We became friends in 7th grade, I remember everything. It was in blue science and me, you, Sam, and Katherine all sat together and made the fruit flock. That's where our entire friendship started. I miss that, I miss you. We were probably two of the coolest kids I know because we spent almost all of last summer Skyping and playing WoW almost all day everyday. Even though I look down and think about how much of loser's we were, I can't help but smile because I knew that we were just doing what we liked to do. You were such a great friend and I miss everything about you being here, hanging out and making fun of Steph just isn't the same without you here by my side. When I went to visit you in February with Steph it was one of the best vacations of my life, because the rush of seeing someone I haven't seen in that long was just amazing. After an 18 hour car ride we finally made it, and I remember seeing the smile on yours and Steph's face when we saw you. Even though I got sick half-way through the trip it was still great. Thousands of miles away you and I are still great friends, and I can't wait until you visit. I love you, Olivia.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from.

I have been staring at this screen for so long, it honestly feels like these blogs are getting harder and harder each day, but I guess that's why they call it a challenge. When reading this topic over, not many people come to mind. But if I have to pick one person, I think I can get up the strength to narrow the short list down to one. You and I were extremely close at the beginning of the year, to the point where we became more than friends for a while. Even though that only lasted a few days, we were still really good friends for a while. I laughed and smiled whenever I was around you, and we would never have a bad time when we were together. But somewhere throughout the year, you started to not talk to me as much. Whenever we were around each other you would either start bashing on me or one of my friends. At one point you even told me you "tolerated" my friendship, which crushed me. The worst part is that you said that so casually as if it was just another mean thing to say to me. I gave up talking to you because I was sick of being insulted by someone who I thought was my friend. Now, after a few months, we are talking again. I like it and I don't want that to stop, I just hope that it doesn't end like last time. Just be my friend, don't have to "tolerate" me, or make jokes that later on you think "didn't bug me," because they do. I'm happy we're becoming friends again, don't disappoint me.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you.

This is difficult because I have no one to write this to. There isn't one person that comes to mind when I think of this topic, theres a few reasons for that I guess. One is that throughout my life, I've learned that when you have a confrontation with someone you don't give up the person, especially if their your friend. I will never have a fight with someone and just give up and walk away, that's not who I am, that's not in my blood. When I either hurt someone or get hurt by someone, I just think that there is always a way to fix the problem, there's always a route you can find that leads to a solution, because you never want to have hate lingering in your life. When you don't get someone to forgive you or to let go of what you did wrong, in my opinion, your never going to be able to live with yourself because you know that someone out there is not happy with you or the actions you've done. Someone out there wants you to hurt like they were hurt, wants you to suffer like you made them suffer. I live my life one day at a time, never letting a problem go unsolved because I wouldn't want that weight being put upon me. I like to keep a clean slate, and I think everyone should do the same. So to all the people that have forgiven me throughout the years, I know there's plenty of you, thank you for giving me a second chance at our friendship, thank you for not backing out on me, thank you for not letting go of what he had/have.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Day 12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.

It was a cold, dark day in the hallway on the last week of school, I was walking down the hallway with my friend when I look in the corner of my eye and I see you coming. I didn't think anything of it so I casually continued walking to my locker, dragging my feet because of the long day of school I endured. I was about 20 feet from my locker when all of a sudden you came up behind me, grabbed my backpack, and flung me across the hallway. I didn't know what was happening, I screamed in terror as you came up and cursed at me, "Back the f*ck off!" I didn't know what to do, you threw me to the ground and bent down and slapped me right in the face. I was shocked, stunned, petrified. I didn't know what had just happened, I felt the blood rush to my face. I had realized what had happened, you slapped me. You walked away and I stood there...speechless. What had you just done, you were so close to me and there you had gone and slapped me. How could you have done this to me? I stood there, red-faced and teary eyed, I didn't know what to do. You had scarred me for life, when I hear your name I flinch in terror. I just want to stop the violence.

^ I'm sorry...I had to.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Day 11 - A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Grandpa, hi. Words can't begin to describe what comes to mind when I think of you. I miss you so much, more and more each day. It's weird to think about how you're not here right now, with me and Mom. I get that you're up there somewhere, watching us, watching what we're doing, and I hope your happy. There's nothing that would hurt me more than to disappoint you. When I think about you I think about all the memories from our old house on Clifford street and even your house in Chelsea before that. I remember Mom taking me and Chris to see you and Grandma some afternoons and I would sit on your lap and watch The Price is Right whenever it was on, and I remember I hated all the parts that didn't have a game involved because I didn't understand the show back then. I remember at Clifford street you watching me do my first dive into the pool because I had been afraid for so long, but when I finally got up the courage, you were there watching me. I remember how the only person in the family Nicky ever truly liked was you, and how she would sleep under your chair in the basement whenever you were down there. Thinking about you brings up so many amazing memories, and it makes me sad that you're gone, but it makes me happy because I know that the time you spent on Earth was not wasted. I will never forget about you and I miss you more than you could ever imagine. Please keep an eye out for me and Mom while you're up there, I love you.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.

You were like my sister for a long time. We were friends all throughout middle school, I was even the first one to talk to you when you moved here. That was so long ago, and now our first year of high school is over and me and you barely talk. You've changed, and I've told you this but you just don't seem to care. Your not the same fun-loving person that you used to be and I hate it. I hate being around you now because everything just revolves around weed or drinking or something stupid and useless like that. We haven't had a real conversation in months, and we used to talk everyday. One day we talked on Skype until 2 in the morning just talking about nothing, and I miss that. I miss you. You made new friends, which is fine, but I don't understand why you have to disregard your old ones. You've changed for the worse and I don't even think you want to be my friend anymore, and frankly I don't care right now. Your not a nice or fun person to talk to anymore, and I'm sick of being blamed for stuff I didn't do. You and your friends just seem to cause drama and I'm sick of it. Yes I miss you, and I've tried to do something about it but you don't really care, do you? Whatever, I guess I'm done, it was nice being your friend.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet.

So for this, I'm not just going to talk about one person. That's honestly just too hard to do. So for someone I wish I could meet, I'm just going to dedicate this to all my real friends on Dailybooth. Throughout the last year, I have met many of you, and even though I don't talk to a lot of you that I met in the beginning, you're still my friends. I get a lot of crap because I'm friends with you guys because you don't live in the same town as me, or even the same state, but after all this time I still don't understand why that matters so much. There are over 8 billion people on this Earth, and just because I talk to a few of you that don't live near me does not mean that I am going to be raped or kidnapped. I wish I could meet you all but I can't, and that's sad. I might one day meet some of you, I can only dream of that. There's not much i can write about you guys other than I love you all and thank you for being my friend, even though we've never met face-to-face. Most of you follow me and I follow you so we can see each other everyday, and we Skype, talk on the phone, everything regular friends do. I'm sure I'll be talking to all of you very soon, and to be honest I like some of you more than I like the kids I go to school with, because you don't have all the drama that a group of friends have, and I love that. Thank you all for being yourselves, and just remember to never change.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend.

So, I know you've been waiting for this day for a while, Clayton. You are most definitely my favorite Internet friend by far. I always think back to a few months ago before we were friends, when I tried so hard every single day to get you to talk to talk to me, I commented on every one of your pictures, tried to make every joke imaginable so you'd think I was funny, because I guess I thought you would be a cool friend to have, and I was right. We talk everyday, and you always make me laugh. Our friendship is pretty strong, even though you live thousands of miles away. I think that makes it a pretty strong connection, and I think we will be friends for a while. Sure I get a lot of crap about being friends with you, people saying it's weird that I talk to someone that doesn't live near me, which in my opinion makes no sense. A friend is a friend, someone who you talk to daily that you enjoy talking to, someone that you can speak to about anything, and someone that makes you laugh. Even though you constantly leave me hate voice mails when I don't answer your calls, and you try to get me in trouble by swearing on Skype, that's what makes you fun to be around. To be completely honest...when I'm having a bad day and I'm in the worst mood, I actually go to my phone and listen to the voice mails because they make me laugh every time I listen to them. I pestered my Dad into thinking about taking me to Texas to meet you, and I am honestly so excited. Thank you for replying to me on that picture months ago on Dailybooth, it started this whole friendship. Lastly, you're my favorite internet friend because well...you're just so texas.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Day 7 - Your ex's

Well, frankly, there are way to many of you to just pick one to write about. I've dated a lot of people throughout the years, so that means I've been through MANY break-ups. To all of you, I'm either sorry it didn't work out and I hurt you or I'm sorry it couldn't have lasted longer. The one thing I like about all of you is that most of us still talk on a daily basis, which isn't very common for most people after they break up. I don't think there is one of you that doesn't like me as a friend and that I don't like as a friend. I want to thank you all for this because you all made my life special at one point. You all meant the world to me at one point in the last few years. And even though we're not dating anymore, we can still enjoy each others company as friends. I might even date some of you again, who really knows. This is a little short because I'm not singling anyone out, which is somewhat the point of this, it's my choice how I write this blog, and I'm writing to you all as a group. So here I am, thanking each one of you, you know who you are, for the moment in my life where you made me feel wanted and loved. I'm sure I'll be talking to all of you very soon, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Day 6 - A stranger

Stranger, hello. You've never met me and I have never met you, so that makes this a little difficult to write. Everybody makes first impressions of people, so I don't expect you to be any different. You're probably going to look at me and think the same things that everybody else thinks. You're going to look at the way I dress, the way I walk, the way I sound as I pass you, who I'm with, all of those things. This is human nature, and I've grown to accept this. Your a stranger to me now, but I want you to change this. I don't want those first impressions to be your only knowledge of me, I want you to talk to me, to see why I dress how I dress, to see what I talk about. I don't want this relationship to be just on your first thoughts of me. Sure I'm not going to meet every single stranger on Earth, but I can definitely try to meet some of them. To me, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. I'm not saying that everyone should go around talking to new people left and right, but how do you think friendships form? You and your best friend used to be strangers, its a fact. But that's how it changes, no one is a stranger forever, because you establish a connection with them. You become friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, enemies, something along those lines. So do something about it, stranger. Come talk to me, learn about me, and then make your judgment about me, because your just a friend I haven't met yet.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Day 5 - Your dreams

For a lot of people, their dreams are what they plan to accomplish over their lifetime. Most people my age already have their whole life planned out. They want to be a doctor, a nurse, a teacher, a scientist, something along those lines. I'm an exception from this trend. I've gone through these years questioning what I want to be when I'm older. I've come to the conclusion that I just don't know yet. I might not know for a while, but that's how my life is mapped out right now. I see people everyday talking about how they can't wait to be a ______. I can't say that, I have no idea what will happen to me after college, or even after high school. Only being a sophomore, I feel like this is okay. For right now, I may not necessarily have any dreams, just ideas. Ideas about finding someone to grow old with, to have kids with, ideas about where I want to go to college, ideas about what I'm doing next weekend. I personally don't feel as though I need to know everything that is going to happen in my life. I know that I'm going to turn into something, and just like everyone I have things that I'm passionate for. I'm not going to spend the next 3 years of high school stressing about accomplishing my dreams. I want to live in the moment, and I want to live for myself, not for anyone else. This is my life, my dreams, my goals, my responsibilities to make something of myself. As I grow up, I'll find something that suits me, but right now I don't want to worry about that, I want to worry about the little things. I want to go through life one step at a time. My dream is to be a kid for as long as I can, and I plan to accomplish that dream.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Day 4 - Your siblings

There's two of you for this. I'm here writing about/to both of you. You're my brother, and you're my sister. Throughout the years I've watched you both grow, fall apart, and make every single mistake imaginable. No matter the situation, good or bad, one of you managed to screw up somewhere, and I'm not saying that's wrong. I highly doubt that I will never make a mistake, I've already made a few of my own. What I'm truly trying to say here is thank you, thank you for giving me the chance to learn from your mistakes, to see what not to do, to see how I should live my life. I'm not saying this in any negative or derogatory way, I'm saying this because it's the truth. Seeing you both throughout the years, I don't want to go out and party so hard that I can barely find my way home. I don't want to have a child before I'm married. I don't want to make my parents cry. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to follow in the same tracks as you both. I feel as though right now I'm coming off as mean, which I don't want to. This is supposed to have me show my true feelings, and this is it. You both have taught me so much through the years, and you mean more than anything to me. I couldn't imagine life without you two in it. I may not always like you two, but your my blood, my siblings. I see parts of you in me everyday, but to be honest I don't want to make the same decisions you did. So thank you for teaching me, thank you for helping me grow up, thank you both for making me into the person I am today, and thank you for being there as I grow up just like you two did. I also want to thank you for all the times in the future where you'll see me screw up at points, but I know you won't hate me for it, and you won't judge me for it. I love you both.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Day 3 - Your parents

Well I don't really know where to start this one. I've stared at this screen trying to think of what to type for a while, and I've gotten no where. So I guess I'll just go from here. Mom, Dad, you both mean the world to me. Even though it may not seem like it sometime, I never forget all that you've done and all that you do for me. I know sometimes I complain, yell, act spoiled at points, but in the end I just want to be the best son I can be because I know that's what you two deserve. Our lives have been hell at times, and has been miraculous at others, you have to learn to take the good with the bad, and oh man have I learned to do that.

Mom, you're a mom like no other. I know sometimes I forget that you're just one person, and sometimes I ask too much of you, and I'm sorry for that. You're one of the greatest Mom's anyone could ask for. Whenever I need something your there for me, we sometimes don't have much to work with in our lives, but you make things happen. You've been through so much and yet you still come out of everything smiling, just trying to make OTHERS happy. Sometimes I feel like you need to focus less on me and the rest of the world, and focus on yourself because you are the one who deserves to be happy. I want to be there for you just like your there for me, when things in our life don't always go as expected, I don't want all the weight to be put on you. I want to help, and I can help. I love you and I love all the things you've done for our family. Thank you so much and never change.

Dad, I don't know where to start with you. You may not always know what to do in certain situations, and you may not always make the right choices, but you are always there for me. I know that I may not be the best son at times, and I know I may complain about the stupidest things, but you know that in the end I do it, even if I may not do it with a smile. If there's one thing I've truly learned from you in the past years, it's the one motto you say after everything. "It's the next right thing to do." You've been telling me this since I as born, and I see you live by this everyday. If someone needs help, you help them. If someone needs guidance, you give it to them. If someone drops something, you pick it up, that's the type of person you are and I've learned a lot from that. Thank you for always being there, thank you for being the Dad that you are.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Day 2 - Your crush

As a lot of my friends know, I'm one of those guys who ALWAYS likes someone, and I usually move on pretty quickly. I'm not saying this is a good quality, but it's me. I also usually like more than one person, I don't know why, it just happens. But through the years, you, my current crush, have always been on my mind. I don't think I've truly ever gotten over you. We dated for a few months, we never really did anything, but that's partly what I loved. We were both younger and whenever we hung out, all we did was talk. We talked for hours without even knowing it. I loved everything about our relationship because it was so simple. Our age difference made it difficult, but we somewhat managed it. I think you have a feeling that I still like you like that, and even though we don't talk that much anymore, I think that's going to change. You meant a lot to me, and that's never changed. If you ever read this I'm sure you can figure out it's you, and that's okay because I think you might feel the same way somewhere inside you. I could be wrong, and that's okay. We've both dated since we were with each other, but does that even matter in the end? I don't know if we will ever date again, but I know you'll almost always be on my mind. Someday I hope it can work again, crush.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Day 1 - Your Best Friends

My best friends, theres no place I could start or finish for this one. I'm one of those people that has more best friends than you could imagine. I never like to single anyone out or say one is ahead of the other. My best friends are always there for me in different situations that I've come across. I can't write about everyone, theres not enough space, so don't get offended if I didn't mention you, you all mean the world to me.

Steph: Steph, you are truly my best friend. We met last year through Olivia, and we've hit it off ever since then. I still remember sitting in Olivia's kitchen and you came over and pulled my hair, then immediately I knew that we were going to be good friends. The one thing I love the most about you is you always tell me the truth, no matter how it affects me. If I look stupid in something, you tell me. If I do something weird, you tell me. If I'm not doing something right, you tell me. And it's not to hurt my feelings, you do it because you want to make me a better person. Your my best friend and I tell you everything. We can sit at your house for hours and just watch tv shows or home-made music videos and not get bored. We can go on an 18 hour car-ride to visit our best friend and I still don't get sick of you. Your the one person I never get tired of. I truly love you and wouldn't be able to live without you. We will be friends forever, no matter what. I love you, Steph.

Julia: Theres not much I can't say about you. Whenever we're together, I always smile. You give me a reason to laugh even when I'm in the worst mood imaginable. We had 4 classes together last year, and even though we fought immensely, I'm gonna miss it. Even after we would get in the biggest fight about whatever, we'd go home and Skype and make plans for the weekend. You made me a different person, you tell me when I'm doing something wrong, and you give me a reason to laugh everyday. Friends since kindergarten, friends forever. I really do love you, and I'll see you at nationals, bring your A game.

Anna: Even though we haven't been friends for the longest time, I can't help but laugh and smile whenever we're together. Sure we get in fights, but that just shows how alike we are. I have to admit we were different people at the beginning of the year, but I think because we became better friends, we definitely changed for the better. People put us through a lot of stupid stuff, but we don't let it bug us because we know it's not true. You've been through so much, and I'm always here for you, and I hope/know your there for me. We will always be friends, and I love you. Thank you for being there for me, especially in kindergarten, that backpack meant the world to me.

30 Day Challenge

In the next 30 days I will attempt to write about the given topic provided for each day. I'll try my best, but no promises :P

Day 1 - Your Best Friends. [done]

Day 2 — Your Crush. [done]

Day 3 — Your parents. [done]

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative). [done]

Day 5 — Your dreams. [done]

Day 6 — A stranger. [done]

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush. [done]

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend. [done]

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet. [done]

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to. [done]

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to [done]

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain. [done]

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you. [done]

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from. [done]

Day 15 — The person you miss the most. [done]

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country. [done]

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood. [done]

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be. [done]

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad. [done]

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest. [done]

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression. [done]

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to. [done]

Day 23 — The last person you kissed. [done]

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory. [done]

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times. [done]

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to. [done]

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day. [done]

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life. [done]

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to. [done]

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror. [done]